Pregnant And Scared
Pregnant and Scared: Coping with Anxieties
It is not uncommon for women to feel pregnant and scared. The phrase ‘pregnant and scared’ is associated often with someone facing an unplanned pregnancy but the truth is that it can apply even in cases where a woman is eagerly looking forward to having a child.
The reality of being pregnant hits some women as they go through each stage. They may be eager to have a child but the physical and emotional changes that they experience along the way can still make them anxious. The first trimester comes with morning sickness and fatigue for many women and so a time that, in theory at least, is a time of glowing health for a woman starts to seem like a physically draining and exhausting experience. So, even if you have read about this it can sometimes catch you unawares and it is a legitimate reaction to feel some anxiety and stress.
The second trimester is in most cases a relatively easier phase in terms of the physical changes. But many women say that this is the stage when the reality of child rearing starts to loom large. Practical considerations such as economic commitment and child care implications need to be addressed and this can make a woman feel pregnant and scared, if she feels inadequately prepared or does not have a strong support network.
Women in the third trimester of pregnancy often talk about the anxieties of labor and childbirth. This can happen to first time mothers and to those who have had a baby or two. The pregnancy may be going smoothly but as the due date starts coming closer, the childbirth classes do not always allay the fears of a mother-to-be. She does worry about whether everything will go alright with the delivery and every book or movie with images of women having to deliver a baby on their own starts to dominate her thoughts. While most of us live in places with easily accessible medical care, this is one of the anxieties that most women and their partners talk about. The idea that the time will come for childbirth and none of the facilities of modern medicine will be readily available – this is a recurring theme when people talk about being pregnant and scared. There is a very limited possibility of this being possible but the truth is women have been delivering children since time immemorial and it is not something that really depends on individual capabilities – that is why it is called a natural process.
Other than these fears, some women share their feelings of anxiety about being good or capable mothers. Motherhood is not a job you apply for and even if you really want a baby, it is possible to wonder whether you are really capable of raising a child. Those who have had dysfunctional family experiences wonder whether they will suffer from having had poor role models.
There is something of a leap of faith involved in having children and so these anxieties and fears are very normal. All responsible adults will wonder about the emotional and physical health of the baby and feel some stress about providing well for the child in terms of creating an affectionate home and providing economic stability. Being pregnant and scared does not mean that a woman is hyper-sensitive; it can well be seen as an expression of a parent who wants to get everything right.
It helps many women to know that these experiences and feelings are shared by other women. To know that this is not an abnormal reaction goes a long way in coping with the anxieties. The other thing that helps is to try stress relaxation exercises. Things like deep-breathing and meditation are shown to have a calming effect on the brain and will definitely have a positive impact for those who are pregnant and scared.